Mac Geekery

Have you purchased a new Mac in the last five or six years? You know, I didn’t think so. In fact, I’d be willing to wager that very few people have bothered to shell out the whole paycheck (or two!) that it takes to upgrade to a “modern” machine these days, which makes Apple’s decision to not support the PowerPC 604e processors even more insanely stupid. Oh, you didn’t know that they weren’t supported? Well, neither did I until I called Apple and they basically laughed at me and expected me to pay over $1,000 on a new computer in order to use the software I just bought.

I bought Tiger from my local Fry’s as I looked at the pretty, but uselessly fluffy new computers on display. As I looked at their flashy designs I realized the only thing separating those computers from my wonderful Power Macintosh 9600/200MP was that those computers were running Mac OS X and I was using Mac OS 9.1. Just think, with a simple software upgrade I could run the latest iMovie and make videos, or I could use the latest Microsoft Office and be more productive. I could do any manner of things if I upgraded my computer’s operating system to the latest version.

So imagine my surprise when I get home and try to boot to the 10.4 CD and my Mac OS 9 starts! I know it had to be my copy because it showed my custom startup screen of the two Steves holding the Apple I. So, I reselected the disk as the startup disk, zapped the PRAM, and even did a clean install and it still wouldn’t start off the CD. I figured, well, I’ll just call Apple, I’m sure there’s some trick I have to do to make it work on such a powerful computer. Sometimes I think it was a mistake to buy such a high-end computer (two processors running at 200MHz! Wow!) but I really appreciate the extra speed.

So I called Apple and spoke with a fellow whose name I really can’t pronounce who spent much of the call laughing at me. Flat out laughing! The nerve! First he said my computer wasn’t supported on this phone line at all and to call this other phone line for help but then he said: “Yeah, well, I mean while they’re probably the right people to help you with that particular computer, they can’t help you with 10.4, that would be us.” So, then why not help me if you’re the right guy? Can you believe the answer? “Well, 10.4 won’t install on that machine; it’s too old. You’ll need a G3 or better to use Mac OS X at all.”

What? I paid over $3,000 for this machine and now I’m being told that in just nine years my investment is obsolete? That now Apple is not supporting their product? Now Apple has decided for me that I need to upgrade? Absurd! After repeated demands of speaking to a manager he passed me off to some other technician (surely to calm me down enough to just hang up on me) who said the same thing. He even tried to sell me an iMac on the phone! I’m sitting here having wasted over $130 and he wants me to buy more stuff!

I ask for someone else, preferably someone with a clue, and he says he’s it, he’s the top, that I need a new computer and if I wasn’t going to do that to look into returning the software. He basically forced me off the phone. It was only 8:55p CST by now, not even late. He just didn’t want to talk to me about this because he knows this is a really, really big snafu on Apple’s part and that I was going to call him on it sooner or later. I called back but it appears they blocked my phone number after that because I kept getting a message that they were closed! I just talked to them! How could they be closed so fast?

So I sat on it overnight and took the software back the next day only to be greeted with Fry’s policy on opened software. Yes, that’s right, if you open the box then it’s yours forever. Never mind that it might not work. Never mind that you might not like it. Never mind that you may have picked up the wrong version. It’s yours. Forever. Deal with it.

By now I’m furious. I wasted over $130 on software that Apple won’t support me with now the place I bought it from won’t take it back. To make matters worse, the man I was talking to at Fry’s told me it wasn’t going to work on my Mac! He said I needed a new computer and offered to show me around the new models! Please! That’s insane! Why is everyone trying to sell me a new computer? What, is Apple not making enough so they tell all their retailers to push new computers to fix problems? I started to yell at this man for spouting this horrible lies to me when he picked up the box I was returning and pointed to the side of the box where it says that I need a “G3 or better” to install it. So, Apple admits that the software will not run on my computer! They admit it on the box itself and still won’t help me make it work! Outrageous! They have intentionally crippled the product and will do nothing to help me with it.

I went home completely delirious with anger and called my lawyer. I explained my situation and the bit about them admitting it and then there was suddenly some cross-talk on the line that sounded like some ladies laughing and then we were disconnected. When I called again he was at lunch, so I’ll pursue this part later.

I called Apple from my cell phone later that morning (they haven’t blocked this number!) and spoke with several people again and was transferred three times and got to a person who claimed she could help me out and, surprise, offered to sell me a new computer! I explained the part about the box, about how Apple admits that they’re stiffing us, Apple’s supporters, and how they’re going to lose in the computing industry because of it. I explained that it was the support of dedicated Mac users that keep Apple afloat and that this needed to be fixed now for me to keep buying Apple products. (Personally, I think that if everyone bought one computer a decade they’d be totally set.) She thought about this for a long time and was so silent I thought she hung up on me but then she came back kind of abruptly (and lightheaded with the truth of my argument!) with an answer: they would do nothing for me, the requirements were listed on the box and the software will never support my computer.

Absolutely unacceptable.

I can’t understand why Apple would alienate such a large portion of their customer base like this. I can understand doing this to the people running really old hardware, like SEs, but for those of us on the cutting edge of technology this is crazy! I mean, really, who buys a computer every five years? Who? NASA? The supercomputer projects? Who else?

I suggest a total boycott of Apple until this mess is sorted out. They have abused me, lied to me, and told me that everything is my fault. My fault. Does this seem like what a customer-oriented company would do to the people that made it what it is today? My purchase helped them through a hard time in their lives less than a decade ago and I even gave them money now that they don’t need it and this is how they treat me for it. Unacceptable.

If you are humor-impaired, don’t bother leaving a comment. Thanks.